The Myth of Finished
On why some of the most important things in life are built while they’re already being used
It feels like we’ve been talking about our kitchen renovation forever and in some ways, we have.
It was one of those projects that had been sitting on the list for years. Ten, in fact. Before we finally pulled the trigger, knocking out a load-bearing wall, redesigning the space and installing the kitchen we’d been talking about for what felt like forever.
In my head, there was always going to be a moment when it was finished. A grand unveiling of sorts.
The problem is that it isn’t.
The new kitchen is in. The cupboards are full. The pantry is organised. We’re cooking dinner every night and making coffee every morning. But the flooring isn’t done. The doorway still needs to be widened so the new fridge can actually come inside the house. There are a handful of jobs scattered around the edges waiting for their turn.
Our life, however, has shown absolutely no interest in waiting.
Our family still needs to eat. The dishwasher still needs loading. And for me, carrying a few health challenges, eating properly isn’t really something I can postpone until the renovation is complete.
So we’re using the kitchen.
Every day.
The funny thing is that while the unfinished parts are sitting there waiting to be completed, the new parts are already beginning to show signs of being lived in. The bench gets wiped down after dinner. The organised pantry is starting to get messy. The cupboards that were untouched a few weeks ago are now part of our daily routine.
The new kitchen is becoming an old kitchen before the project itself is even finished.
The more I think about this, the more it reminds me of business. I think a lot of us secretly believe there’s a point where things finally settle down.
The website will be finished. The systems will be finished. The business will finally run exactly the way it’s supposed to and then we’ll be able to relax. Except that’s never really how it works.
The website goes live while you’re still rewriting pages. The new process gets implemented while you’re still finding problems with it. You hire the team member you’ve been searching for, only to discover they create a whole new set of opportunities and challenges you hadn’t anticipated.
The business keeps moving while you’re still building it.
In fact, I’d argue that’s true of almost everything important. Parenting isn’t finished. Relationships aren’t finished. Health isn’t finished. Personal growth certainly isn’t finished. You don’t suddenly wake up one day having arrived at the completed version of yourself.
You’re constantly renovating while simultaneously living in the house.
Maybe that’s why so many people feel perpetually behind. We’re measuring ourselves against a finish line that doesn’t actually exist. We keep thinking we’ll start enjoying the thing once it’s done.
The business.
The house.
The project.
The body.
The life.
Meanwhile, the thing is already happening. You’re already living in the house. You’re already running the business. You’re already raising the kids.
You’re already becoming the person you’re trying to become.
The older I get, the more I suspect that finished is just another story we tell ourselves. Not because goals aren’t important, but because life seems remarkably resistant to completion. Every time we reach one destination, it turns into the starting point for the next chapter.
The kitchen will eventually be finished. Then we’ll notice something else that needs attention. The business will hit the next milestone. Then we’ll set another target. The list never disappears. It just changes shape.
There’s something comforting about that. It means I don’t have to wait until everything is perfect before I allow myself to enjoy it.
I don’t have to stand in the unfinished kitchen focusing on the flooring that still needs to be done. I can appreciate the fact that we’re already gathering around the island bench, cooking meals and living our lives inside it.
Perhaps that’s the real lesson. The kitchen is already serving its purpose, even if the work isn’t finished.
Maybe most worthwhile things are.
The conversations don't stop here. On the Richly Told podcast, Lee and Richard explore business, family, leadership, travel and the realities of building a life that never quite arrives at "finished". New episodes every Friday.
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