We’re heading to Uluru this week, somewhere that’s been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember. As we were leaving karate the other day, the kids were talking about it with one of our Senseis. Our youngest mentioned that we’d hardly been home this year. It’s true. This year we’ve been to the Philippines, Fiji, the US and Singapore, and travelled domestically quite a bit too.
Some of it was holidays. Some was work, and as soon as he said it, I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to apologise or explain it away. I was quick to remind him that we’d had a very blessed year, as if that made it sound less like we were showing off.
I don’t want the kids thinking that travelling the way we have been is ‘normal’ or that it’s something they are entitled to. I want them to understand that not every family gets the same opportunities. But he wasn’t showing off. He was talking about his year, and I was the one who jumped in to explain it away.
There’s a very Aussie instinct to downplay the good things. We don’t want to make a big deal in case we seem full of ourselves. When something good happens, we’re quick to say we were just lucky, or shrug it off as no big deal, and I was doing exactly that.
Then our Sensei said something like, “You work hard to give them these opportunities.”
She was right and her comment stayed with me because standing there, I hadn’t been thinking about the effort behind the trips we’ve taken this year. We do work hard. We make difficult choices and sacrifices. We’re deliberately trying to build a life that gives our family opportunities to do the things we love. I was so focused on not sounding boastful that I couldn’t acknowledge what we’d worked for.
So here I am, days later, still thinking about it. I want the kids to appreciate what they have but also understand that other families have different circumstances.
I want them to see the work behind the life we’re building, and they do. They contribute. They’re part of their own little business co-op, and they understand the gig economy. They know how to earn money when they need it, and that getting something they want takes planning, effort and commitment.
Since then, I’ve also been thinking about this as a business owner. It’s easy to talk about the hard parts of building something. The time, the money, the uncertainty and the chances we’ve taken that didn’t work out. That’s just the truth. But I still struggle to say that all of those same things have made the good in our life possible too. And I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve built. We started with nothing (and a newborn baby), so removing all the emotion, we are a success story.
I still worry that acknowledging this sounds like I’m bragging. I frequently add disclaimers to my pride. But I’m beginning to see the difference between thinking you’re better than someone else and recognising the effort you’ve put into building a life you love and are proud of.
I can’t wait to experience Uluru with Richard and the kids and I’m really grateful to our Sensei for reminding me of something that I’m always so quick to squash down.
We’ve worked hard to give our family these opportunities and we are all allowed to be excited about them.
If this struck a chord, Richard and I explore these sorts of questions every week on the Richly Told podcast. Business, family, travel, leadership and all the complicated bits in between.
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